thoughts..

one of my goals during my time in india was to first and foremost journal every night, so that i don't ever forget these memories, and also to blog. well the blog part has partially failed, so i decided to just blog one of my random thoughts from my journal and go with it :) 

happiness. such a simple word, with such a loaded meaning. for me, happiness looks something like ducking to avoid a million frisbees, hugging little bodies, wiping little tears, sharing lots of germs, smiles, hugs and kisses, hearing my name called a billion times a day, often at the same time, holding the most beautiful babies in the entire world, and laughing until it hurts. often in peoples testimony's, i hear them say something along the lines of "when i started trying to follow jesus, he wrecked my life" well, I'm blessed enough to have had that moment, and continue to have it every single day. i am so incredibly thankful and blessed to have this second family, that sometimes when i try and remember how i did life before i knew them, I can't remember. So thank you Jesus, for "wrecking" my life, and making it so much more beautiful, whole, and fulfilling than i could have ever dreamed, hoped for, or imagined.

reunited

After a very long five and a half months, I was finally reunited with my favorite kiddos. The last two weeks have been very busy, but so so fulfilling. Getting to kiss all those little faces, and give them hugs again has been so awesome. Its been really cool to see how much the kids, and the babies especially, have grown up and matured. I was so thankful that both Jacob and Elise remembered me. So often I find myself just looking around at all these sweet little blessings, and just being at a loss for words.  I am so beyond words  thankful that I have been given this amazing opportunity. I truly can not imagine doing anything with my life other than what I will be doing for the next six months. In this culture, these kids are untouchable and are the lowest caste, and are looked at as having no potential. That attitude and mindset is something I really struggle with. I just don't understand how someone can look at these awesome, joyful kids who are so full of life  and so easy to love and still not love them. Its frustrating to see how many people view them and interact with them, and basically look down on them for the caste they were born into. Even many of the  "Christians" here have that mind set, which is so contradictory to the bible on so many levels. I feel so fortunate to have been called to touch the untouchable, and love the unloveable. It has been the most rewarding experience of my life, and I feel so blessed to have fifty little people who have become my family, and filled the holes in my heart. With out a doubt, I am sure that there will be some challenging parts of the next six months, but these kids make it so worth it. 

....

today was a hot day. so hot in fact that when i went to shower my shampoo and conditioner felt like they had just come out of the microwave. its amazing how much i have grown to appreciate cooler weather :) one of the things i have come to realize is how often many people, myself included, forget to find joy in the smallest things. since it was so hot, we decided to get out the little towels that you put in water and they grow for the kids. the look of pure bliss on their faces as they watched those expand was so sweet. it is such a good reminder to me that i need to have joy in the things that are small, and may seem unimportant. i was teaching the preschoolers simple english things like the ABC's, colors, rhymes, numbers etc and the look of accomplishment and pride on their little faces was priceless. they were so proud of themselves for learning to say simple english words! watching these kids worship the Creator of the Universe is a beautiful thing. they put their whole little hearts and souls into prayer. what an example such young lives can be. the passage talking about having faith like a little child has really come to life for me through these kids. its amazing what you can learn when you just open your eyes and look right in front of you. 

thoughtsss

its amazing the things you can learn when you go to another country for a long period of time. i have learned that no one has experienced heat unless they have experienced India in the summer months, showers are a privilege, not a chore, that hugs are a great thing, the simple life is more fulfilling, that when you really give yourself to the one who gave His life for you, you see things differently and life has more meaning, being uncomfortable is better than living a comfortable life and that sometimes you just have to let go of the things that the outside world says is important. I have learned, and done so many things here that I probably never would have done in America. For one, fishing ( aka throwing yourself onto the mud in hopes to catch a fish) with my bare hands in three feet of mud. As gross as it may sound, it was so incredibly fun. Im thankful for new opportunities to try things that may seem a little strange at first, but in the end are really fun. Today my heart broke in places I didn't know it could break for one of the little boys at the home. He has MD and is slowly losing control of his legs. Usually he is the happiest, most joyful, full of life kid I have ever met. Today he fell and hit his head and the look of sadness and defeat on his face as he cried was enough to break my heart. I look at some of the sweetest most precious kids and babies here who are HIV positive, and again I am left wondering why. To me, it doesn't seem fair that such young lives should have to go through things like that. But, I am reminded that I serve a big God and that he works for the good of those who love him and those who have been called according to his purpose. He has a plan for each and every one of these kids here and although it may seem a little cloudy to me, he already has it all figured out. So while it may not make sense to me, his plans are far greater than what I could think would be best for them. 

lately

Wow! I can not believe over a week has passed since I arrived here. I have learned so much and am enjoying my time here a ton. One of the things we did was visit the largest Hindu Temple in India. It was really interesting to see, but so incredibly sad. These people spend their whole lives in fear that they aren't doing enough to please their gods and that the gods will take out their wrath on the people. I could just feel the devil lurking in there. It seems like what they believe is so difficult, when believing in the God who created the universe, and loves us and wants to give us a life of freedom could be so much better for them. I also learned that near an Indian family from the states is donating money to build a temple that requires human sacrifices near our village. Again, its hard for me to grasp why these people would ever want to live a life of fear, and requirements, when they could live a life of freedom and joy. While we were at the temple, we visited the holy cows and also the elephant. The elephant was cool, but again the holy cow thing is a bit weird to me. Thomas told me that these people value the cows so much that they will drink and eat the waste. That actually may have been the grossest thing I have ever learned. We also made the local newspaper for being the only white people around. Kind of strange :) A couple of days ago we also did a medical clinic in one of the villages. It is absolutely amazing to me how the people here live. For the most part they all live in grass huts, but if someone is wealthy they will have a concrete house and if they are really wealthy than they will have a painted concrete house. It gets a bit awkward when we go out in public just because everyone stares due to the fact that there are a couple of Americans.  We also got the opportunity to do a little bit of farming on the new land. On the way back, I rode in the open back of the truck with the older boys and they were trying to teach me telugu and would just laugh and laugh at how I said the words. I have enjoyed getting to know the kids better. Sundays are always fun because thats the only day they do not have school so after church we just get to hang out. Some of the stories of where they came from are almost unbelievable unless you were to hear it first hand. These kids have seen and dealt with more than anyone, but especially a child should have to go through. And somehow in the midst of it they still have so much joy. I came here hoping to be a blessing and a light unto these kids, but I think they have been a far greater blessing to me than I have been to them. Even at such young ages the way they handle the situations they have been dealt are ways that I hope I handle in the same way. I can honestly say that I have never felt so full and so blessed in my entire life than when I am with these sweet kids. I love them all dearly and am already dreading having to say good bye in three short weeks.

thoughts..

Things I have learned)
People in India are crazy drivers
The children give the worlds best welcome
How to cut and cook the Indian way
Palm trees and coconut trees are very different
Sometimes the little things that you think matter, don't
How to say a few tellegu words 
That I absolutely adore all of the children here


What an awesome first two days at the children's home! Thomas Dana and I got off the bus yesterday around 630 am, and I got the best welcome in the world! When people come to the children's home, they all put lei's around their necks, and throw little flower petals up and give lots and lots of hugs. It was awesome. All of kids are so beyond precious and it has been so cool to jump in and get to see what normal everyday life is like for them. I also have gotten to see a few villages which has also been cool. We went to one today for church which was a little bit farther away, and it was cool to see because the people there live in straw huts. I really enjoyed the church service, although i did not understand any of it. We also played a game with the children today called the goat and the tiger which was an absolute riot. We all grab hands and stand in a circle and the person on the outside is the tiger and the person on the inside is the goat and the tiger has to try and break through someones hands to chase the goat. It was absolutely hilarious to watch. Its amazing to me after hearing some of these kids stories, how full of joy and life they are despite the things they have gone through. They're always so fun and always come up to me and say "Aka, my name?" It is amazing and such a great testimony to find joy despite past struggles. I love them all dearly already, and am not looking forward to having to leave! 

On the way!

Well, I'm finally on the way! It's crazy to think that I am finally on my way to meet all those precious little faces I have spent so many nights praying for.a big thank you to all the prayer warriors out there who are praying for me. God had made himself so real to me through out this whole process, and even more so today when two huge prayer requests were answered. Originally we were worried about my three huge duffles being overweight but thanks to some careful packing (s/o to momma c and miss Linda) we fit every single thing in without going over the limit. How cool is that? He also blessed me with meeting two new girls who have the same lay over as me so I won't have to be lonely :) I feel so incredibly blessed to even be in this position of being able to go to India and am ecstatic to actually be there and see the kids. Keep praying, two long flights, a 12 hour layover and an overnight train ride are all still obstacles I will have to go through. As well as customs, please pray I get blessed with a super nice person who got a great night of sleep and doesn't want to stop me and try and get me to pay a bunch of money.